Reflection #5

I was a little bit surprised in this time of Theodosius' reign that christian themselves persecuted the pagans. Because as I've knew that only christian was being persecuted by other religion. But through the life of Theodosius my mind was being opened that, that could really be happened even before, during ancient times.

As a Christian, I am trying to live with confidence knowing that I have this Christ in me. Knowing and trying to be aware of every day living that persecution as Christian would really be happen. But because of this emperor my mind was being widen that Christian also could persecute the pagans even at this time. And the more I am being aware of how I live because I might act or live as a persecutor to other people.

Being sensitive the more to others as minister is what really matters the most in me. Knowing that I am an agent of transformation I must live just like a spy in each of the lives of those who are still lost and not to live as a persecutor. Because as what I've said that I thought before only Christians are being persecuted but in the other hand Christians also could be a persecutor in the eyes of other people if Christian themselves are not sensitive enough the way they live.

Reflection #4

I like how Polycarp as a strong man in the Lord on how he fight and stand firm in times of testing in his life as christian. “I must be burned alive “ was his statement and as an evidence that no matter what for him he will not really deny Jesus as Lord and Savior. Because for him there is no reason to deny Jesus as God and as Lord. That Jesus had done no wrong in him and why deny. I could say that this is really the life of a christian who truly be a man of God that really be tested of how true and sincere you are as the one who claim as Christians. Polycarp's difficulties as Christians is not new to many people especially today because since the very beginning God had already recognized different testimonies of the lives of different people in order for these generation to be aware with and of how they fight the good fight as God's soldiers.

Me as a weak person, had already faced different hardships in life. I even almost came to the point of giving up to be a bible school student because since then the enemy is trying to distract me from saying yes to God's conviction of His call in me to be in BTC. Though it is an old story about me but it keeps on reminding me those testimonies of how God worked in me, and to proved to myself that God is really working 24 hours in me. God never sleeps, he never rest, he never felt tired, he never even give up on me, God is a very patient God to me. And by this life of Polycarp when he says that 'God had done me no wrong, and why would I deny him as my God' is a challenge for me to keep going on. That even to this point God is still allowing the enemy to challenge me.

There are a lot of reasons for me to say keep going on and fight the good fight. Since God will fight for his children and there is no reason to let the enemy defeat us since our God is the master of all!I always heard and saw in media that Christians are being beheaded because of Christ and I ask myself if ever I will face this in reality could I really be stand like Polycarp did? I am being moved that whatever may happen I'll do my best just the as I could to really stand in the truth.

Reflection #3

“When the time had fully come” is the quoted word of Good that says that Christ came into a prepared situation at a particular point in time chosen by God. And it also includes here the existence of every person that whoever you are, whatever kind of person you are, either you are disable or not Good knows it and God has a purpose to it. That even a child, an adult, men or women or whatever creatures exist is part of God's plan. Or how imperfect you are, how violent you are and how wicked the person is, that can't still be condemned because God as a perfect creator created it with a purpose. And that's the beauty of God's design for his people that he created.

Me having a very low esteem were being comforted at the very time when this being mentioned in class. Though prior to this God already send me a comforting message but this add to my confidence of being who am I. Because I am used not to be appreciated even in the family during my childhood. But at this time that doesn't matter to me. I even choose not to be recognized by the crowds, I just don't like it. But I didn't stay there but instead I grow.

At this moment I find myself that I have less giving attention to those judgment that I've heard

And to be content of who I am in God's eyes as one of the precious child in him. I am not looking after to those people who will appreciate me but to those people who could accept me of being an imperfect physically, mentally, socially and others. Because knowing that I am also one of God's chosen to exist in this imperfect world to be used for his ministry.